Even playing a role to adhere to someone else's standards in order hang-on to relationships and friendships is chicken shit. I've learned the hard way stick to your OWN standards from the very beginning. It's a lot less painful for EVERYONE involved.
Don't pretend to be something you will NEVER be because you're afraid of rejection. You're just postponing the inevitable and creating bad feelings every step of the way to the point NOTHING is salvageable.
Enough with playing the victim when you know damn good and well you're not. We all have our underlying motivations for remaining in a relationship whether personal or professional in which we don't belong, our authenticity disrespected, unappreciated, and even intimidating. We stay because we're getting something of value even if it's subconscious positive and/or negative validation of our own self-worth.
At this very moment in time, I have finally figured out the reason I keep putting myself in these situations. It's because they are abusive, dysfunctional yet comfortable, confirming my own lack of value.
I should have had the courage to walk away from these relationships a long time ago, creating a new, positive and nurturing dynamic. Then I would not even been attracted to any other situation where I felt the need to change myself or control someone else and the environment to sustain my own needs and insecurities.
So don't ever apologize if being authentic might unintentionally hurt someone else. Their reaction is NOT your problem. Sometimes "rejection" really is only a matter of being "typed-out," unrelated to anyone's inherent worth.
Besides, better to leave sooner than years even decades later. Why invest time in a losing battle for all involved? Never be afraid of being authentic even though others might not appreciate it. Life is damn too short for any one of us to feel badly for having the courage to "be."
First, do no harm to yourself and others.
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