Sir Dagger and the Cosmic Contractor

"The truth is, when it comes down to it,

being a decent human being matters a great deal.

At the end of the day, you’ll be judged by your character

and the things that you do when it’s not comfortable,"

"Doing the Right Thing..."

Once upon a time in the Kingdom Of Lakeway, Sir Dagger arrived from a far away land to stake his claim and spread his abundant seed.

 
Seeking adventure and conquest, Dagger roamed almost daily for two weeks. Inexplicably, his guardian the "free-spirited" White Wizard of Decks aka "cosmic contractor" enabled his charge by refusing to close the back yard gate. Alas, local villagers spent each day looking for Dagger albeit a friendly pup but obsessed with a young princess, ripe with desire. Sadly her caretaker felt as if Dagger was stalking her young charge and was terrified to leave the safety of her home even for a leisurely stroll.

So having a better understanding of the situation, I had numerous talks with "cosmic contractor" about keeping Dagger in the yard by simply closing and bolting the gate. He responded, "Well, this is his last day here anyway." I replied, "It doesn't matter. Our entire village is in turmoil, fearing Dagger is a stalker and potential rapist. With the utmost humility, I implored him to please keep the gate closed and bolted.

 

Did it do any good? Alas, Hell the f😡 no. A couple of hours later, a kind villager showed up at my front door to tell me that Dagger was lurking at the home of "his beloved's." Apparently, "cosmic contractor" had already taken off to look for him. Armed with my neighbor's dog treats, we also embarked. Still wearing fuzzy house slippers, I scurried down the street to keep pace with my cohorts.

Then like an ethereal luminescent presence, Dagger appeared in the distance, seemingly happy to be found and ready for his notorious adventure to end. A yummy treat his reward, I leashed Dagger to walk back to my house while "cosmic contractor" returned from the hunt to finish his work.

Determined to restore peaceful goodwill, my own sweet pup, Lady Bri joined me to sit with Dagger for the rest of the afternoon. Then it happened. "Cosmic contractor" deliberately left the gate open, as if Dagger would follow his command to stay. I quipped, "I have to close the gate because Bri would most definitely explore," chasing wildlife one of her simple canine pleasures.

Seriously, why we believe dogs with the mental capability of toddlers are any more reliable is a mystery. Would we leave a three-year-old child in a yard with an open gate? The mind boggles. Most importantly, is it really such a big deal to keep gates closed? SMDH.

In spite of everything though, I would hire "cosmic contractor" again. He's incredibly talented, some would say a craftsman. The back deck looks like a work of art, cascading down to the yard.

 
It's a matter of respecting me, my neighbors, and our community. If consistently closing the gate is an issue, then Dagger would have to stay in the dog run when unsupervised. So whether or not he works here again is not my call: it's "cosmic contractor's."

And we all have the chance to live happily ever after.

"Who Let the Dogs Out,"

Baha Men

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