Thursday, June 15, 2023

"What is the Measure," Donika Kelly



For M

I catalog what I cannot capture:
the sun, its ragged stumble into rockface,
the precise elevation of this plateau or the next,
the sea, of course, against which everything is measured.

My tools are insufficient, inexact.

For instance: there is no way to measure
the peak against the distance from the tip
of one ring finger to the other, no matter
my arms’ position: outstretched, limp, akimbo.

For instance: there is no way to weigh
the earth pushed out of earth
against the gravity of my body, its bones,
its sacs, its meat and animating light.

I submit:
I do not constitute the mountain.
This, in spite of the pallet of old quilts
and newly fallen maple leaves I’ve made
at its immeasurable base.

I submit:
I do not constitute the field,
although I have harrowed its length, its width
with my narrow feet, my slow step.

Never mind I hear what scurries
or scatters, what burrows or bounds.

Never mind I raise my hand to hover
the bent grass, the echinacea’s bald crown—
all of which withers or writhes,
all of which is new or nearly the same
before my foot’s next fall.

I submit:
As with the mountain,
                                    the field.

As with the field,
                                    you,
ineluctable as a season, sun ragging the rockface.

Your arm, nearly as long as mine, your palm,
wider, your mouth a beginning, your eyes, of course,
against which everything else is measured.

You harrow and the summit writhes;
your broad foot falls, and the field, akimbo, gives up
its gravity, lets loose its bodies its bones,
thrums an animating light.-
Donika Kelly

Source: Poetry (June 2023)







Thursday, June 1, 2023

Target Practice



I have a weapon,
Aimed directly at 
Your head.
A small red dot of
Susceptibility
Between the eyes,
An empty smile 
Slowly and steadily 
Emerges.

I have a weapon.
You have the bullets,
Lethal shots
Waiting to be played. 
You and I both know 
The game, yet
Only one of us is
The marksman.

I have a weapon:
Your hand is on
The trigger.
I laugh uncontrollably, 
Knowing it's just a
Matter of time:
Neither of us will
Survive.

But for now, 
We dance...

If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text NAMI to 741-741.






Wednesday, May 31, 2023

The Feud

 

It would be so easy
To continue as we've always been.
Someone has to say,
"Enough already."
It might as well
be me.


Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Frenemies

"Because I am not 
one of your fans," 
Mommy Dearest, Christina Crawford

Sometimes I would like to ask
The Question
Rather than being
On the receiving end of
Bull Shit
Time and Time again.
But I already know
Our differences can't be resolved.
I've always known
The Reason
You may have never wanted to be
My friend,
But now I don't want to be
Yours....
                             



Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

The "Compassionate Cardinal"

Y'all have to understand:  I'm alone--A.L.O.N.E. No one else is gonna save or protect me.

Being A.L.O.N.E. can be terrifying while at the same time liberating.  I often wonder though if I'm strong enough to manage all of that freedom. On one hand, being an introvert way more content with my own company without having a lot of social connections is empowering.  Then again, it's not easy being so independent to even ask for help when desperately needed. 

As a widowed "elder orphan," the realization that I am no longer a priority in most people's lives is definitely a rude awakening. Austin's Big Freeze of 2023 could have easily thrown me into a major depression. The old me would have been cryin' copious tears about how my life has turned to shit; how life is so unfair,  how I can't handle "it" anymore- blah, blah, blah.... blah.

But ya know what? Considering all the stress I've been under lately, 
I've handled "it"--maybe not perfectly but without a self-indulgent pity party.  I guess approaching age 67 my wrinkled skin has also thickened. I really have to wonder if others so typically critical would have been able to handle "it" as well if they were as absolutely and almost utterly A.L.O.N.E.

Hey, don't be too impressed though. I'm not the sharpest tack in the box. I tend to be a "people pleaser" against my better judgment. I will admit to not knowing everything or anything for that matter. I will readily admit to not being "right" all if any of the time.

You all have NO idea how much I've struggled with self-confidence over a lifetime. Yet I've somehow managed to find fulfillment much more than less. Hard work, perseverance, calculated risk-taking, as well as a lot of luck both good and bad have served me well overall. Still some lessons-learned have been painfully difficult, requiring a transformative shape-shifting in order to survive and thrive,  reborn every single day.

Lest curiosity kill the crab, due diligence is my ally. A seeker of knowledge if not absolute truth, I'm a problem solver for the most part--not a "shit stirrer."  A creature of compromise, I look for solutions not ways of creating more problems. So there's the difference.

Sheltered in a warm, cozy outer shell, protecting a soft, vulnerable core, I very well might be a "bad-ass." I am a Cancer, one of the four cardinal signs of the zodiac after all. That in and of itself is something of which to be proud.😁

"Faster than the speeding light, she's flying
Trying to remember where it all began
She's got herself a little piece of Heaven
Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one,"
"Ray Of Light,"
Madonna Ciccone, William Orbit, 
Christine Ann Leach, 
Clive Muldoon, 
Dave Curtiss,




Sunday, January 15, 2023

Sir Dagger and the Cosmic Contractor

"The truth is, when it comes down to it,
being a decent human being matters a great deal.
At the end of the day, you’ll be judged by your character
and the things that you do when it’s not comfortable,"

Once upon a time in the Kingdom Of Lakeway, Sir Dagger arrived from a far away land to stake his claim and spread his abundant seed.
 
Seeking adventure and conquest, Dagger roamed almost daily for two weeks. Inexplicably, his guardian the "free-spirited" White Wizard of Decks aka "cosmic contractor" enabled his charge by refusing to close the back yard gate. Alas, local villagers spent each day looking for Dagger albeit a friendly pup but obsessed with a young princess, ripe with desire. Sadly her caretaker felt as if Dagger was stalking her young charge and was terrified to leave the safety of her home even for a leisurely stroll.

So having a better understanding of the situation, I had numerous talks with "cosmic contractor" about keeping Dagger in the yard by simply closing and bolting the gate. He responded, "Well, this is his last day here anyway." I replied, "It doesn't matter. Our entire village is in turmoil, fearing Dagger is a stalker and potential rapist. With the utmost humility, I implored him to please keep the gate closed and bolted.
 
Did it do any good? Alas, Hell the f😡 no. A couple of hours later, a kind villager showed up at my front door to tell me that Dagger was lurking at the home of "his beloved's." Apparently, "cosmic contractor" had already taken off to look for him. Armed with my neighbor's dog treats, we also embarked. Still wearing fuzzy house slippers, I scurried down the street to keep pace with my cohorts.

Then like an ethereal luminescent presence, Dagger appeared in the distance, seemingly happy to be found and ready for his notorious adventure to end. A yummy treat his reward, I leashed Dagger to walk back to my house while "cosmic contractor" returned from the hunt to finish his work.

Determined to restore peaceful goodwill, my own sweet pup, Lady Bri joined me to sit with Dagger for the rest of the afternoon. Then it happened. "Cosmic contractor" deliberately left the gate open, as if Dagger would follow his command to stay. I quipped, "I have to close the gate because Bri would most definitely explore," chasing wildlife one of her simple canine pleasures.

Seriously, why we believe dogs with the mental capability of toddlers are any more reliable is a mystery. Would we leave a three-year-old child in a yard with an open gate? The mind boggles. Most importantly, is it really such a big deal to keep gates closed? SMDH.

In spite of everything though, I would hire "cosmic contractor" again. He's incredibly talented, some would say a craftsman. The back deck looks like a work of art, cascading down to the yard.
 
It's a matter of respecting me, my neighbors, and our community. If consistently closing the gate is an issue, then Dagger would have to stay in the dog run when unsupervised. So whether or not he works here again is not my call: it's "cosmic contractor's."
And we all have the chance to live happily ever after.


"Who Let the Dogs Out,"
Baha Men
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